I finally have a place to live!

Well, actually, now I have TWO Places to live!! Crap!

Hooooorrrrraaaaaayyyyyyy!

I got a call right before I took my lunch break saying that I got final approval to move into a three bedroom townhouse I applied for last weekend. Yay. It's pretty cute, the back door opens to the neighborhood playground and the pool is beside my building. Rent is high-ish for this area, but amazing compared to what i've been paying in Va.

The problems? It's in the next town over, in the wrong (and not good at all) school district, and it will add about 20 miles to my commute. Ten into town to take the kids to school, and then i'd have to backtrack ten to get to the highway to head to work.

That's if they could even stay in their current school.

If they had to change to crappy schools they would, well, be in a crappy school. They also wouldn't be able to go to Grandaddys house after school so i'd have to pay daycare, and they wouldn't get that time with him which is a HUGE negative in my mind.

Before I could call her back to return the message I got another call.

On Sunday I was flipping through the classifieds and saw an add for a 3 bedroom double wide and a 3 bedroom singlewide, but no prices or locations were listed. I called just to see and she told me they were both rented already. (The rental market here is smokin) Then I got a "buuuut, I have a four bedroom that I just found out is coming open. The girl is still living there but it's on xyz road, you can ride out and look at the outside and I can call you when it comes available so you can see it."

I asked and it was in the RIGHT school district, so it took nearly everything I had to not offer to give her a deposit and first months rent then, but I kept cool. I'm a cool cat.

20 minutes later I had ants in my pants so my stepmom and I took the kids and rode out to see where it was so I didn't waste my time if it sucked (although it could have been a shack and I wouldnt care, as long as it's the right school!)

We got there and found the driveway, but I wasn't sure which one it was. A girl stepped out on the porch of the one I *thought* it was so I jumped out and asked her if she knew for sure.

I ended up talking to her for almost an hour, asked about the rent, utilities, the landlords, etc. She was super nice as we chatted so I thanked her and started to go back to the car when she said "Well, i'm packing and it's a mess right now, but do you want to see the inside?"

YES YES TRIPLE YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She rocks my socks. We looked around and it was *much* bigger than it looks from the outside, the kitchen is kind of dated with border (ack!) but she said he's pretty ok with painting and whatnot as long as it's tasteful (how hard is it to be as tasteful as apple border in the kitchen?!?)

She told me to let her know if I was getting the place and she'd try to leave the swingset and a few other things and then oh so kindly warned me that sometimes the neighbors cows get out and come in the yard..."but it's not a big deal, just go out and smack them on the rear end and they'll run home"

Can y'all just see this city girl smackin cow butts all the way home? Lord have mercy!

Anyway, I called again and told them I did decide to ride out and that i'd met the girl and saw the house and asked if I could fill out an application. I went that night to fill it out and talked to the landlord a while. He said he'd get back to me by the weekend.

He ended up calling today and when I answered I got

"Hello Steph? I was just calling to tell you we decided to go ahead and let you rent the house." all calm and collected, like he didn't even realize how freaking monumental that call was.

Joshua is pumped, he's all about getting a paintball gun and target and shooting in the field. Jordan is mad because the kids that live there now told him sometimes when the wind blows you can smell cow poop. Jake has no reaction because he's so pissed at me because he's in trouble for fighting at the babysitters house this morning.

I'm freakin pumped!

I finally found an affordable place, without getting married OR going on welfare!



Oh, and the rent is $109 cheaper than the townhouse, that's $100 more a month I can put in savings (and a couple vanilla lattes from Starbucks if I ever find one here!)

I'm going to be a welfare mom when I grow up...

Because then, apparently I wont have a problem renting a house in Ohio!

Three different times in the past week i've seen an ad in the paper for a reasonable rental.

Hello

*Hi, I am calling to get more information about the rental you advertised in the newspaper on xyz street.

Yes.

*It is a three bedroom correct? Can you tell me what school district it's in and how much you are asking for rent please?

Ok, it's three bedrooms on xyz street in the wrong school district and $700 a month.

*Excellent, can I go ahead and set up an appointment to look at the property?

Sure you can, are you already HUD approved?

*No ma'am, i'm not on HUD, I'll be paying the rent myself.

**click**



WTF?!? It is so completely and totally UNFAIR that these people are hanging up on me because i'm NOT on welfare and i'm actually *gasp* working full time, busting my hump to make sure I can look my boys in the eye and tell them that I took care of them, not someone else, not the system, ME!!! But oh heck no, we won't rent to her, she's not on rental assistance.

It's incredibly frustrating and sad to me that I would literally be better off as far as housing and finances if I quit my job, sat on my rear end and let your tax dollars raise my children. I could probably even qualify for financial aid and let you pay me to go to school and get my degree. Unreal.

If I didn't have this little thing called pride, and yanno, just a smidge of self respect i'd slide my fanny into a pair of dirty sweatpants with 'sexy' stamped across the cheeks, cash a welfare check, swipe some food stamps and be living the high life, in a fancy rental that I don't have to pay for.

Instead, because i'm a jackhole who wants to do things the 'right' way, i'll go to work everyday, be able to look my kids in the eye when they're grown and i'll continue to get yelled out for being a single mom and therefore unworthy of renting a house, i'll continue to get hung up on because i'm not a welfare mama and eventually, one day, i'll find someone who wants to rent to someone who's trying to not suck at this life thing.

I hope it happens soon because quite honestly, it's starting to piss me off.

I feel for the next person who hangs up on me. I'm so not in the mood!

Independence.

Saturday I took my boys to the fair. We had a deal that we would go each night with ten dollars and whatever was left we would use the rest of the week. If they went the whole week without whining for games and rides, I would fork over the loot for the 'all you can ride' wristbands and let them go at it on Saturday, so off we went.

We got there and it was H-O-T. I walked around for a while and then decided they were old enough to have a little freedom. I went back to the car and fixed the headliner, added windshield wiper fluid and checked and added more oil. Go me! Who needs a stinkin man.

I grabbed a library book and went back in, found the kids and let them know where i'd be and to check in in an hour. I ended up reading a book about a middle age chick who's boyfriend broke up with her in a heinous way and she got all the sympathy from her family for being unmarriable and an old spinster.

Oy.

Of course, I read and got all wrapped up in the charachters and by the time I finished the book I was feeling like an ogre who was destined to be alone forever. I walked around the county fair watching the couples all happy in love and together, holding hands and whatnot and started the pity party.

If they can all find 'happily ever after' love and get married and be all together forever, why can't I?

Sure, i've been proposed to. I could get married tomorrow if I wanted to, but what is holding me back? I try to tell myself that i'm independent, that I won't settle, that I have better things to do, that I don't need a man signing a contract giving him exclusive rights to my vagina to be complete, but what if...what if i'm just making excuses because I really AM an unmarriable shrew?

Lately I seem like i'm going back and forth between being glad that "at my age" people just assume i'm married off so they don't try to hook me up with their sons neighbors cousin who is a 'really really sweet boy' like they do at home. If they happen to ask, I just quietly mention that i've got a boyfriend back home and it's dropped.

I like it that way, I dont WANT to be set up on random dates, but then every now and then, when my kids are off doing their own thing and not needing me and i'm standing at the fair, alone, chilled with noone next to me to put their arm around me or offer me their jacket, well, i'm lonely.

It's weird.

It's odd.

It's so unlike me.

I don't like it one bit.

Life would be so much easier if my boys didn't grow up and stop needing me so much. Why can't I just freeze them last week when they still needed mamas snuggles more frequently. One day i'll find that perfect balance of being as independent as I want to be and allowing myself to lean on someone just enough to not be alone. One day